Compassionate action
In order to develop loving relationships with others, self-love must become part of our consciousness and our practice. It means treating ourselves with respect, kindness, and compassion, and making peace with ourselves in order to make peace with others and with the world at large.
– Dr. Gail Parker, Restorative Yoga for Ethnic and Race-Based Trauma
When I started studying compassion and kindness, it felt like a shift toward acknowledging what I needed in the moment, being aware of those needs, and holding space. When I started taking care of myself in that way, it became much easier to practice actual compassion for others on the spot.
– Lama Rode Owens, Love and Rage
I recently participated in a workshop where the leader invited each of us to check-in by sharing our name, pronouns, and a word to describe how we were feeling. One person introduced themself and said they were feeling tender. The way they shared about their feeling led me to see being tender as beautiful, as something to be held and loved. Their share lingered with me during the workshop and beyond.
Until that day, I didn’t have a conscious relationship with the word tender. In times when I likely felt tender, I pushed myself through or past it. I probably saw it as a vulnerable place that I needed to get out of so I could get back to a stronger version of my life. I see now how not acknowledging my tender states led me to miss out on the powerful healing one receives by loving and holding the tender aspects of their self.
For the past three years, I’ve been cultivating a personal relationship with compassion. I am no expert and at times feel like I don’t know it any better than the first day I started inviting it into my life. Interestingly, the idea of loving myself when I’m tender makes compassion feel more tangible. By identifying my tenderness, I know where to direct the compassion and I feel more connected with myself.
I am drawn to compassion because I see the powerful role it plays in healing our world. I sense the need for healing each day when I learn about the murder of Breonna Taylor along with countless other Black and Indigenous people of color, the extreme fires in California, and the careless way the US government is addressing COVID. In order to heal these bigger issues, compassion has to start on a personal level. It’s not a quick fix but it is a sustainable path to a healthier and braver future.
