I am experiencing…

Have you tried replacing the phrase “I am [emotion]” with “I am experiencing [emotion]?”

I learned this way of relating to my emotions in Lama Rod Owens’ book Love and Rage. He incorporates it into a meditation practice, that I have now adopted. The practice is giving me an internal spaciousness that I didn’t have before.

“I am” statements are powerful. A friend recently said, “when I say ‘I am upset,’ I then feel a responsibility to embody the emotion.” I have the same reaction. It is as though by saying “I am sad” that I am committing to being sad. But I have a different reaction when I say, “I am experiencing [emotion].”

By putting the word “experiencing” in between the two, I feel like space opens up around me and the emotion. It’s as though the emotion is not inside me but near me. I begin to breathe more easily and my muscles become less contracted. I am not consumed by the feeling but can witness it on its own and me on my own. Everything becomes a little more calm.

I bring this phrase into my meditation practice when I’m feeling an intense emotional response to something. For me the emotion doesn’t have be a negative one, just one that takes me out of my body. Recently, I got really excited about something and in that excitement I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t focus. By using this phrase I was able to gain clarity and come back to the present.

I encourage you to try it out. You could even use the phrasing outside of meditation to reframe your perspective in the moment.